The Art of Declining Gracefully

What skill would you like to learn?

The culture that often celebrates over commitment, the simple act of saying No, has become most difficult.

Far from being negative, mastering the art of saying no is a crucial life skill , I want to learn. This will help improve my emotional and mental well being and allow me to focus on what truly matters.

In my professional career, there has been times that I’ve said yes when I wanted to say no. As a result, I have worked hard and extra hours to complete my commitments. This was surely stressful and tiring.

I still remember my retirement month in the company and I was highly occupied with the projects I promised to complete. Everyone laughed at me that why you are running around so much in your last month of working. But I had accepted more than I could finish and have to work hard to fulfil my promises. Again the reason being I overcommitted.

When I analyse my behaviour, there could be one of the few reasons of saying Yes, like

• Pressure of the chair. If the request comes from a powerful person, saying No is very difficult.
• Fear of disapproval. There is always a thought in mind about what people will say if I decline.
• Estimation of consequences. This is important to understand correctly the consequences of saying no.
• Lack of practice. Politely saying No, requires practice and courage.

I am definitely not submissive person but saying no was always difficult. Assertiveness is a two edged sword, it is either being Assertive or being arrogant. There is thin line between Arrogance and Assertiveness. You have to strike a balance.

Two things I could not master in saying No is , Being Direct and honest and being Empathetic but firm. These two things are crucial in saying No.

Even in relationships, our dear ones , take undue advantage of our inability to say No. You are taken for granted for few things and your busy schedule is often devalued.

The consequences of this trait are severe. It induces stress, physical fatigue and anxiety of meeting commitments.

Currently I am reading the book titled “Don’t say yes when you want to say No”. I hope to learn to say No.

What about you. Can you directly and firmly say No to requests. Share in the comments.

Thank you dear readers for stopping by

Stay happy and keep smiling 😊