Hardest Decision in my life

What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?

Our life is full of choices, each choice we make, paves the way for our future and shape our personality. Some decisions are hard, not because of their complex nature but because of emotional weight they carry. When I reflect on such decision moments, I realise that such decisions teach us most valuable life lessons about courage, maturity and values.

In my corporate career, the hardest decision was to sign someone’s termination letter. I had to make two such decisions in my entire career but the first one was particularly tough to execute due to heavy emotional weight. I would like to share the same with my readers.

This was the time when I took charge of my first leadership role. It is always easy to complete the task by ourselves than getting it done from others. But that is exactly the successful leadership. I had carefully chosen my team and started working with complete enthusiasm and passion. The employee in the subject matter was also selected by me. And I was his self declared guardian since he was coming from another city.

As the time passed, I realised that the same employee in my team is not performing well, in fact he is non compliant and tries to cover up the facts by telling lies. This was big shock to me as his manager. I took all out efforts to improve him by guiding him and at times warning him but no improvement was seen. Finally after 6 months of my sincere efforts, I approached my boss and informed him about the situation. He said, Mukund, I trust you completely, please decide and execute. The decision was fully on me. We decided to observe him for further 6 months.

The thought of someone loosing his job because of me, took my sleep away. I felt extremely guilty that I am the cause of bringing the whole family on the road since he was the only bread earner for the family. Meantime I spoke to his father and explained everything and suggested to counsel the son to improve his performance.

I was caught between the profession and the emotional distress. Then I spoke to my mentor and he advised me to refer to Bhagwad Geeta.

I started reading the particular Shloka and got some peace of mind. The Shloka goes like this

Bhagavad Gita 11.34

Sanskrit:

द्रोणं च भीष्मं च जयद्रथं च

कर्णं तथान्यानपि योधवीरान्।

मया हतांस्त्वं जहि मा व्यथिष्ठा

युध्यस्व जेतासि रणे सपल्र्नान्।। 

Context of the Advice

In this chapter (Vishwaroopa Darshana Yoga), Krishna displays his universal form (Virat Rupa) to Arjuna and reveals that the outcome of the war is already ordained by divine will (Time/Kala). Arjuna is merely an instrument of this cosmic plan. The key points of Krishna’s advice are: 

• Focus on Duty (Dharma): As a Kshatriya(warrior), it is Arjuna’s duty to fight a righteous war (dharma yuddha).
• Detachment: He should fight without being emotionally attached to the individuals as relatives, but see them in the context of the battle for justice.
• Divine Plan: The opponents are already “slain” by Krishna’s will, meaning their fate is sealed. Arjuna is simply the medium through whom this outcome is manifested. 

This advice helped me overcome my emotional paralysis and personal attachment by placing the actions within the larger framework of duty and divine purpose. 

Finally I took the decision with peace of mind and executed with heavy heart.

The hardest lesson learned was, perform your duties ( karma ) for which you are responsible without attaching emotions. The chair and the responsibility should be addressed first.

Thank you my dear readers for stopping by

Stay happy and keep smiling 😊